Thursday, August 27, 2009

Wildin Wit Dha Taliban

Sooo..whatz really goood my blooog readerz..iight so I been chillin in afghanistan wit dhem W.M.D Taliban Boyz (W.M.D=weaponz of mass destruction)..mane lemme tell ya them lil dudez crazy 4REAL!!!..iight so we were out there in this lil village rite & we were screamin & cursin people out like some hoolaganz..so then this old man told us we were a disgrace to mankind & we weren't gonna amount to anything in life..so yu wanna kno what we did?..well we kicked dirt in his eyez, sprayed him wit mase, made him lick dog poo, dhen set his hair on fire & then burned his village..so nah I realize that these guyz are mentally insane but im proud to call them my family..nahhh im playin but if I did meet the taliban I would give them all some chicken & a ak47 & send them to mexico & let them do they thing & see who would win a fight out of the short burrito lovin taco bell fajita eatin we cant stay in our own country oopz I just crossed the border wit my 30 kidz THE MEXICANZ & the we have we wear ragz over our face & have 8 wifez then blow up the world trade center wit planes de chop american army men headz off & send them back to the usa THE TALIBAN..WHO WILL WIN MEXICANZ VS TALIBAN?..I'll let ya know but until then "Stay Cool & Breezy, While Eatin Chee Weezy'z"

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I Shouldn't Have Jerked In Class

well hi there gangster, thugs, granny'z, drug dealers, crack heads wit cheeseburgerz for crack...whuddup?..holla @ me..get @ me mane..i think i sounded kinda thuggish right there..nahhh im to fake to be real..so today me why me & a couple of other people were jerkin in class..so the teacher made us write a essay on what rulez we broke, why & how to fix it..so heres mine (i kinda dont have any sense):

Donald Carral Jr.

8-12-09

6th Hour

I Shouldn’t Have Jerked In Class

Hi im Donald & I broke one of Mrs. Vessel’s rules today. The rule that I broke along with others is rule “T”. Rule “T” on Mrs. Vessel’s Classroom Rules is to speak, get up, or if you just aren’t sure raise your hand. Well the reason why I broke this rule is because I didn’t read the classroom rules (im such an idiot). Another reason why I broke the rule is beacause I have no selfdiscipline. I know my mother did not teach me to act that way. Now I know that I shouldn’t jerk in Mrs. Vessel’s class or teach anyone to do it. To be honest I don’t know what got into me & I would like to give a special apology to Mrs. Vessel. I hope that she can forgive me for my behavior, for jerkin & just being a jerk. Well I think the only way I can fix this is just to not jerk anymore or just take my jerkin else where. But I think I know the true answer to that question & that’s to just raise my hand to get out my seat & jerk. With that said to Mrs. Vessel I would like to say I don’t think you will ever see me jerkin in class & I will raise my hand to get up (even if my head is bleeding, I can’t breathe, if someone is holding a gun to my head, & to just throw some paper away). So today I learned a valuable don’t just jerk or talk or get up without raising your hand. if you don’t raise your hand you’ll write a 1pg essay on “I Shouldn’t Have Jerked In Class”. When I get in class tomorrow im going to raise my hand for everything. I hope you enjoyed my essay people.

OH YEAH PPL "STAY COOL & BREEZY, WHILE EATIN CHEE WEEZY'Z"

heres a video of me jerkin in my Michael Jackson fit...[jerky]



video

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Greetings earthlings..so i had the convo wit ol George "satan" Bush like yesterday & well...ima just let yu read how the convo went:

satan=George
Chicken Eater=me [dj flii]

chicken eater:
so what up satan..wait..may i call yu satan?
satan:
[laugh]..well satanz my grandfather but yu may
chicken eater:
[ilaugh]..well so what have yu been up to?
satan:
well i've been sittin on my country a** behind chillin & countin the money i made off of them suckerz in america..yu stupid foolz [evil laugh]
chicken eater:
[laugh]..well how do yu feel bein the most hated person on earth since hitlar?
satan:
well i really dont give a f***
chicken eater:
[i interrupt] please sir please dont f***in curse on my show
satan:
my bad my nigga
chicken eater:
wait hold up i got yo nigga.. yu derty country tobacco chewin country bumkin..i'll call my boy elchupacabra on yu & he'll put ya face where ya butt at..nah how ya like dat?![mean face]
satan:
well im srry dj..dont get all ghetto on me man..but like i was sayin i really dont care becuz im rich & i got alotta weed
chicken eater:
weed?so you smoke?
satan:
[laugh]..smoke?..man i blow harder den a chimney in a house in canada filled with 30 mexicanz
chicken eater:
[laugh]..nah datz what im talkin bout..[guilt look]..oopz sorry viewerz..i mean man datz not cool..your pathetic..but how much weed do yu have?
satan:
[laugh]..alot man acres of it..
chicken eater:
[smirk]..(thought bubble to myself [i wish i had that..])..wow......your an a-hole..like seriously..like how did yu become president?..your an american jacka**..
satan:
[mean face]..look yu nigga i'll slap tha chicken taste out yo mouth
chicken eater:
yu kno what mane im tired of this..[bird call to elchupacabra]..[elchupacabra swoopz in and eatz george bush on live television..omg]
chicken eater:
well viewerz i guess thatz all for today & i would like to thank elchupacabra for eating george satan bush
elchupacabra:
anytime my nigga
chicken eater:
well im out peepz..remember..STAY COOL & BREEZY..WHILE EATIN CHEE WEEZY'Z
who knew george bush was a petafile


Sunday, August 2, 2009

Crazy X Gamez Dude




Que pasa mi amigoz? & i wanna give a special what up to my dogz & thugz lil jackie chan, tucan sam, lucky the lucky charm man, & captain morgan..oh yeah elchupacabra..with that said let me get on track..so the last couple of dayz the xgames have been on..i pretty much missed most of it but lemme tell yu sumthin those guyz are complete jacka**es..like when the skateboarders & bmx riderz r on that megaramp & fly higher then snoop dogg on sum ganja @ the BET AWRDZ..& those guyz on those dirt bikes they are mentally retarded like what the hell is wrong with them..but i'd let a midget kick me in the nutz twenty times just to get a chance to lose my life flippin like hundred times in the air & land on sum dirt thatz harder then concrete..man but cant yu go to hell or sumthin for playin wit yo life like dat..idk (since yu thatz readin this have no life whatz so ever how abt yu google it & then leave a comment or email me)..so im still tryna find some updates on satanz cuzin george bush..i think ima just call his cell..so tomorro i'll tell yu how the convo went..stay cool & breezy, while eatin chee weezy'z

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Hello Dumb Clerk

whatz really good in tha hood world..to my fellow aliens i would like to say greetings..i would like to give a shoutout to elcupacabra, jd, myspace freakz, william hung, & online predatorz..matter of fact scratch that if your an online predator get off my blog nah..nooo yu pervert not lata nah..yu need to be locked up in jail wit a big guy named Big Bob that has a page long list of jail nannyz [a jail nanny iz somebody that has been punk'd in jail..get da picture!]..well with that said letz get to buziness so today i was wit my fellow class klownz & i went in finish line & i asked for some fresh k-swiss..lol..& they told me to go to hell..lol..nah im just playin all they did was laugh at me..so then my friend pat asks one of the store clerk if he can get a pair of shaq'z & if yu do not kno shaq'z are sold at payless & if your a teenager yu know shaq'z should not be on your feet thatz just illegal.. so tell me why this dumby (the store clerk) goes & asks her manager if they sell shaq'z..im like omg r you serious dont you work here?..so tomorro ima go ask her if i can buy sum walmart bobos..i tell you life aint for everybody..but i tell ya..my b i forgot what i was gon tell yu..but tomorro i think ima tell yall what satanz cuzin George Bush been up to & sometime this week ima do a interview with the hide & seek champion of the world OSAMA BIN LADEN..but anyway i think ima jus gon say "stay cool & breezy, while eatin chee weezy'z"




shaq wit his tina turner wig on..say shaq im goin buy yo shoes from payless tomorro sike..what i look like

Monday, July 27, 2009

The Ugly Truth iZ...


what it iz & what it aint ppl..welcome back to itz dj flii the chicken eatin southern country bumpkin himself live..so last nite me & my cuzinz went & seen The Ugly Truth..well lemme say this i give it 2 thumbz up seriously!..i thought it was gonna be a fag bag movie (a movie thatz completely gay!!!)..but tha movie was great..the 2 starz of the movie were Katherine Heigl & Gerard Butler..Katherine played in "Bride of Chucky" & get this Gerard Butler played Leonidas, the King of Sparta in 300..yu kno dat muscle clown who was yellin "WE ARE SPARTA" like a retard..well Katherine playz a woman named Abby..whoz on some how stella got her groove back stuff cant get a man..so thatz where Gerard who playz a guy named Mike who iz a hardcore TV personality who promises to spill the truth on what makes men & women tick..blah blah blah..& at the end Mike [gerard] showz Abby [katherine] y he was King of Sparta (kno what i mean ;)..ohhh yeah)..lol..so that was like the greatest summry ever..oh yeah that faggot Bruno iz still in the top 10 @ the Box Office..im not gonna lie the movie iz really funny but the gayness rating of the movie iz like off the charts..lol..So if yu havent seen The Ugly Truth go see it! with that said "stay cool & breezy, while eatin chee weezy'z"






LoL Bruno & his baby OJay

Thursday, July 23, 2009

New Creature


So what up dudez & dudettez?..well today i just got a call from JD & IM NOT TALKIN BOUT DAT RAT WIT JANET JACKSON..whoz called JERMAINE DUPRE..BUT HOWEVER talkin bout THE NEW JERSEY DEVIL & he told me he wantz to join my team of so called fake creaturez who i kno exist..well lemme give yu da peep on JD..he was born in 1735 by mother "Mother Leeds" on a stormy nite..he iz the 13th of 13 [sumbody was gettin real buzy..ummhmm]..hez from New Jersey [ he talkz kinda weird itz like a growling scream type of thing..ya know] but he also eatz chicken (what a coincidence) but hez a real cool guy if yu look past his bat like wings, hooves, his tail, & his horse like head..but yeah through all that hez a real swell guy..but yeah hez now aprt of my team along with the chicken eatin ELCHUPACABRA..however im still waitin on callz from ppl like Big Foot, Blair Witch, The Lochness Monster, & Hell Boy..so with that said i gotta go finish eatin chicken wit Elchupacabra..& i think JD on his way..so peepz im out & "SO STAY BREEZY WHILE EATIN CHEE WEEZYz"





jd was drunk that nite & thought he was chasen a chicken